Ja-ja-ja-jaded......

Sorry to all my readers....the 4 or 5 of you actually lol.
I think i've gotta improve on my time management skills; i cant seem to have enough time to do everything i need to do... for example my list of (non-school) things to do

1. clean up my room and give it the "phuket resort" feel.
2.install my chinup bar
3.finish my class 2A
4. cleanup and re paint my scooter

Meanwhile, I'm less angry now i guess. Maybe i can't be bothered to think about the past anymore. Have tried to pray more often and be less of a thorn in His side heh but my bad habits are hard to break. But I feel so much more grateful and peaceful now. Thank goodness for my dear frens and cell group. I need you guys to slap me abit now and then, and thanks for reminding me that I'm only human.

K la, on a more light hearted note... i think i'm spending too much money... haha i blew 179 on a pair of freaking shoes from Zara. man i feel damn guilty now siah..... was gonna buy a watch too but i'm still thinking abt it. Am i becoming more materialistic? the watch, the shirt, the cufflinks, the shoes, the bike, the helmet, the crumpler..... strong is the presence of Consumerism in me :p

Its been raining lately, and i have almost forgottened how nice it is to stay in and nuah in bed. I especially love the smell of light rain in the wee hours of the morning. It smells so fresh and clean it makes me feel ....at peace heh.

See? I told you guys i blog better when i'm sad or angry la...... hahahahaha ;) someone teach me to put up pics and music leh... my blog is like how boring.....

Renewal

A sinner am I.
Caught up with the ways of the world am I.
The Devil's favour I can't deny.
I pray I don't end up in Hell and fry.

Resurrection

This blog has been dead for more than a year.
Many things have happened since.
A trip to KL for a month for work/fun, a whirlwind romance which made me rush all the way back to see a certain gal during the weekends of that particular month. A friendship that blossomed into a relationship. A relationship that failed because of "fundamental differences".

In a way, I have no more faith nor belief in this thing called "love" anymore. It has become some sort of a business deal. Security and collaterals are needed for exchange of "feelings/emotions/love". Gone are the days when love was unconditional. Its come to a point where its: "Dude, u aint got the drive for the finer things in life. i want the finer things in life. Its not gonna work out. Sorry."


Raw.
I watch the world with a new cynical eye,
i once thought without being loved i would die,
it hurts me so but i refuse to cry
if i could quote radiohead "Dun leave me high and dry".

Perhaps i ask too much from a girl,
to accept me as who i am as our story unfurls,
Alas it aint simple, i'm tangled in the curls
just me and my empty lil world.

So prove me wrong God, I'll try to trust in you
that the right one will come and make my heart feel new
but dun give me temporary fixes of synthetic romance
no more hurt i can take, so i'll build my fence.